Proverbs 15: 32
He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
King James Version
To avoid being punished, I’ve always attempted to do the right thing. No matter how hard I try, someone will always disapprove of what I do, be uncomfortable with my behavior, or have something nasty to say about me. As a result, I’ve spent a long period dealing with criticism.
Criticism is a part of life; whether constructive or destructive. How you choose to handle them is what really matters. Your children will criticize you; your spouse will criticize you, your colleagues will criticize you, your boss will criticize you, even your own parents will criticize you.
Does that mean you should feel like a failure and give up? No!
Yes, there is nothing you will do for your spouse without getting criticized and your kids too criticize you for almost every and anything. That does not mean you are not the best mom, neither does it mean that you are not the greatest partner ever.
Even Jesus, the perfect one of God was Criticized, how much more me and you?
More often than not, criticism can feel like an intended malicious attack, that is particularly targeted at us. When we feel that way, it can trigger provocation, accusations, antagonism, defence, and anger.
These are the automatic immediate reactions as is human nature.
Many at times, from loved ones, criticism comes from a place of love, a need to correct something wrong. This type of criticism is healthy; it helps you become a better person.
Many people indeed abuse the power of criticism, they use it as a weapon to weaken another person and make them feel bad, in turn causing them to have self-doubt and low self-esteem.
If you are delivering criticism, deliver it with love. Everyone has shortcomings and we all make mistakes at some point in time. In trying to correct, don’t be harsh and start with name-calling.
Such can easily escalate into a full-blown fisticuff. If you must critique, use a patient, loving and honest approach. Before stating what is wrong, state the good things also. If this approach is not taken, the person may feel inadequate.
Remember, that the criticism aims to get the person to do better and be better. If this is not the aim, then it is wise to be quiet. I am not suggesting that you sugarcoat it and sound like a sales representative; give the full version but use less hurtful words or none at all.
Sugarcoating words can be deceitful and dangerous. At the end of the day, the criticism should build the person up and not otherwise.
To accept criticism, you must be quiet and listen. Keep your emotions in check and don’t give excuses, cut the other person off or complain. Just stay still and listen. Dishing out negative emotions when being criticized could come off as prideful.
So take it like a champ without any hassle. After receiving the criticism, be thankful. If you feel the need to respond, be very thoughtful about it. Carefully consider the critique and respond appropriately but gracefully.
Dearly beloved, we should be careful to note that the critique must not be one hundred per cent accurate for it to be true. Of course, there will always be loopholes in people’s assessment of any situation.
When people criticize us for malicious reasons like jealousy, spite, frustration, anger, and hatred, we should learn to take an attitude of grace towards them. You will most like noticed the intention because such criticisms are based on more lies than truth, or even complete lies.
Such criticism tends to manipulate the situation to best suit their own purpose. Instead of engaging in a shouting match with such a person, just be joyful, as you know that the problem is not with you but with them. Forgive them and excuse yourself.
If someone’s criticism of you is accurate even in the slightest bit, always turn it into a positive weapon for yourself and do better. Whether the criticism is out of malicious intent or not. Realizing you are not perfect helps you receive criticism well.
Dearly beloved in the Lord, the good news is that criticism is a learning curve; we should not let the bump on the road affect how we see ourselves. We should not let all the negative emotions that come with criticism affect us. Respond to it biblically. Do not be victimized!
