2 Corinthians 10:12
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.
King James Version
On Thanksgiving Day, I had finished preparing the big dinner, and I wore a very pretty dress. I was feeling super beautiful until she walked in. She had a winning personality, the perfect hair, the perfect skin, a great job, lovely kids, and the most handsome husband.
Everyone adored her and only had good things to say about her, yet her mere presence enraged me. I was irritated by her in every way. Every time I look through my Instagram account, I see her posts about yacht vacations, new product launches, and how amazing her career is.
What’s wrong with wishing for what she has, if not more? This was a period in my life that I went through.
I spent that phase of my life in bitterness and anger. At the end of the day, it yielded nothing. My jealousy did not get me all the things she had.
What I did was pray and put in the work where I needed to and a couple of years later, I now have my kids, a loving husband, a great job, and I could do most of the things that I was wishing for back then.
Sure, there is nothing wrong with wishing for what other people have, but the stress of wallowing in envy and jealousy will not let you accomplish anything productive.
It will make you filled with bitterness and hatred towards the other person which is counter-productive to you.
When jealousy, rivalry, and envy show up, they put nothing but ugly thoughts, feelings, and ideas in your heart. When you leave such feelings unchecked, they can result in a series of chain reactions causing relationship damage, unhappiness, insecurity, anxiety, discontentment, depression, and maybe, death.
Life is not a reality show called ‘Keeping Up with your Neighbors’. You don’t have to keep up with anyone. Everyone in life is running an individual race, and you should too.
The people you are killing yourself for and trying to keep up with are not in the slightest bit concerned about you. They are too busy dealing with what life has thrown at them that they hardly notice you. So why bother?
“Again, I considered all travail, and every right work, that for this a man is envied of his neighbour. This is also vanity and vexation of spirit” (Ecclesiastes 4:4 King James Version).
In reality, you truly cannot have everything someone else has. The situation and circumstances surrounding your lives are completely different. Hence, the outcomes are totally different too.
Just like you want or wish to have what someone else has, the same way there are people out there willing to kill for what you also have. Because God has not given you what you want does not mean He has not given you everything you need according to His will.
If you want something in your life, pray for it rather than squandering your happiness on all of these unpleasant feelings. See jealousy, rivalry, and envy as one of the ways the enemy is trying to distract by stealing your peace of mind.
To better help you in dealing with jealousy, you first need to understand jealousy and why you are jealous. Jealousy could stem from not being happy with your own situation, thinking you deserve so much better, or simply just wanting more out of life.
First, you need to deal with the issues in your life. Jealousy does not miraculously disappear by itself because you want it to. To start with, stop comparing yourself to other people.
Don’t let your flesh be in control, deal with it. This is the root of jealousy. When you compare, you either feel inferior or superior to the person being compared to. Any of the two feelings are Considered sinful.
If you feel superior, it may lead to pride which may lead to strife. If you feel inferior, it may lead to jealousy as well. Second, deal with your trust and insecurity issues. Be secure in yourself and be secure in God.
There’s nothing wrong with wishing for what you desire. In fact, I encourage you to ask our heavenly Father for anything you require. And finally, find a good counsellor to guide you.
Always remember that the world is filled with people with so much less than you have. When we are envious of what other people have, we are essentially telling God that we are not appreciative of what he has given us.
It is also a clear lack of trust in God’s promises towards you. So, instead of all the negative emotions, you should be grateful to God for what you have, be genuinely happy for other people’s success, pray for everything you need, and put in the hard work where you need to.
